Why did I not realise this last night?

I can’t be expected
To not be all sad
When the drinks take forever
And the music is bad!

I wasn’t the only one
Walking out early
Too hot and too stuffy
And angry and burly

I thought there were problems
And all of them me
I was wrong! So now next time
I’ll go home for tea

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A party of Pleasant strangers

Why are you even here?
Said the judgemental bitch
As I judged her bitchily

I was upset at the time.
(I don’t
Iike my bare nerves
Pinched)
And she refused to share in my
Icy stare.
And she left
Before I did

I had tried to make myself feel welcome
I had!
And I received many warm smiles and loves
That I returned with desire-less eyes
As if there was a switch turned to
The ‘off’ position in my side

There must be something somewhere that fills me!
Or am I just broke?

After all
It was an
Indisputably
Nice
Outing.

Afterwards I asked myself again
Like a judgemental bitch
Why am I even here?

I don’t know.