I still don’t understand
how Not Good Enough
you are
for me

But I’m starting to know
It’s irrelevant

Because

I’m
Brighter

Than it all

It takes some time
For me to see
How beautiful
Ugly is
To me

How fabulous
Disgusting
Seemed
How weak and sly and
In betweened

Inconsequential
Spineless
Muck
How lowly, hollow
armed and sucked

how dead end roaded
Savage plain
coward-eyed
and limping came

In far away
And given up
How carcass hearted
Piled and stuck

I saw the terror in your eyes
And it came as no surprise
When it came for game to play
You soiled yourself and ran away

thank you for keeping me happy
thank you for keeping me sane
thank you for not letting me jump off a cliff
when i’d forgotten my face and my name
thanks for cleaning up my mess
and hearing all my shite
and reminding me that feelings end
and everything’s all right

it’s just the smallest things you know
that makes the change for me
when no one else around is strong
you help me smile and see
you and i don’t think the same
thoughts splash my mind and scatter
but you put the thinkings in their pots
and remind me they don’t matter

and i’ve a tendency to sink
into a desolating mud
but you catch my head before it
hits that concrete with a thud
you light a taper in my dark
you know it’s not the end
i’d just like to thank you chick
for being a damn good friend

still Fucking Miles off
Mate

If you want me
You’ll have to try harder than that!

he grew me like a flower
i wondered when id ever get him gone
he came to me inside my dreams
and did things that were wrong

my frail body can’t withstand
the wrong you did to me
my ears they bleed

i miss you and your
terrible

i miss you and your
terrible
disgusting
haunting

i miss you and your
terrible
disgusting
haunting

and I a nothing
a nothing
a Nothing
I trusted you

I was wrong

It was so easy to lemon drop my secrets into you
like pennies in a well
but i won’t throw my coins away
you won’t make my wish come true

i feel safe amidst your voice
i’m held up stars away
but you can’t come to see me smile
or come and watch me play

we spoke with lights in both our eyes
we fit like oiled machines
but you can’t show me what you feel
i can’t show you what i mean

And so they tell me, I know it’s true,
You’re not worthy of my time
but they don’t see us like I do
when i was yours, and mine

i burnt into you like a flame
you cowered coiled away
love’s a brave heroic game
that you’re too scared to play

and snapping you from off of me
like hair and skin and bone
leaving things i left unsaid
and things i know, unknown

it’s another story for the books
a ghost tore us apart
but i’ll remember that one moment when
i had you,
at the start