here is my ear

i wish you didn’t matter
i wish stupid things you said would
make me mad enough to have the sense to leave you
i wish your kisses didn’t taste like ferrero rocher

i wish it felt with you
how it feels with other, ordinary, pretty, party the night away boys
i wish i was shallow, and cold, and giggle dumb
and kept you an unspoken secret

i wish i could leave you without
ripping pages
i wish you were better at this
because you do not play fair

i wish i was crueller
and distant and playful. And wiser
a glass paperweight
you couldn’t shift or burn

i wish the sun was out and we could sit on the grass together for hours
i wish you knew you wanted me like i want you
i wish our hands didn’t share a little bit of our finger tips
so i could leave without
taking pieces with me

i wish you’d never kissed me at all.


I’m no poet around you
My words are crushed up into
Timid kisses and
Making sure my hair is just right

I don’t want you to hear me
Say stupid things
And the ones that matter the most
Get stuck in the silence in my throat

I hope you can hear
The glow on my shoulders
And the quiet breaths I take
When you look at me

I couldn’t tell you where I lived but
I can take you there